Abstract This study discusses how the social distance of participants in conversations influences their refusal patterns in the Chinese language. Through analyzing refusals from two groups of respondents (strangers and friends to the requester), the author demonstrates that refusal patterns are sensitive to the social distance between the speaker and the listener. The findings of the study support Wolfson's 'bulge' theory: The strangers group rejected briefly, while the friends group engaged in longer negotiations in their refusals. The study also shows that social distance influences the semantic formulas used by the two groups as politeness strategies.